If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
please come you make the beer taste better
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My vagina just recognized that song.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Success! We fucked roommates!
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