I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
