Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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