My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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