It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
