Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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