just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
ttyl tear gas
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
last night I used snow as a chaser
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
