YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
