He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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