one might say we're banned from that church
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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