we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
