If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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