we have pet lesbian snakes
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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