would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
