ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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