I need help removing her.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
