even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
