I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
