Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
