SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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