It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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