Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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