what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
