my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
