hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize