Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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