I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
