I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
kristin has been a bad kristin
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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