How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
