Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
