it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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