In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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