i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
