Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
