I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
