i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
