it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
