So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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