The maid of honor just puked.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
