youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
