Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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