So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
