Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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