his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
