It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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