You can't motorboat a personality
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
