so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
