worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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