My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
