Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
