I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
