I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can you bring me the toilet please
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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