If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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