I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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