yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize