Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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