we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
