Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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